“Tonight we finish what we started…”
Last night I broke ground by interviewing myself in a no holds barred interview. All of your comments about last night have been great and I can’t help but feel like you guys are a great group of fans. So without further a do I present the conclusion to the interview…
If you could live in any period of time when would it be?
Thats a question that I have often pondered many times. I have two answers to that question: 1. Revolutionary War period or 2. Now. I say Revolution because that is my favorite period in history. So much going on, so much excitement, and so much intellegence. Think about it America was born and these guys got together and wrote a frame work for a government which is able to still function today along those same guide lines. That to me is absolutely amazing. I wish I could have been around Ben Franklin, George Washington, and the others and spoken with them. To me it would be an extremely facinating event. I also say now because now is the time to be. I mean face it what don’t we have now? I mean we have so much and more. I don’t think I really have to elaborate on this topic so much as I think people would agree with me on this.
What was the one thing that has made you more angry then anything in your entire life?
I don’t think I could give you a specific moment in time on that. I mean I get pretty angry or pissed off on a daily basis so keeping track is pretty hard. But I will say that the most recent bout with extreme anger probabily came when my Professor this last semester tried to pull some bullshit on me by saying he didn’t see my hand and skipped over my group. I’m sure you all remember that but I think I haven’t been that heated about anything in a really long time. So yea that.
Have you ever been in love?
Good question yet again. If you would have asked me while I was still in high school if I ever had been in love I would have said yes. But now I can say no. You see in high school I was very young and foolish when it came to females. I learned a lot back then but I did go through some rough crap. I used to say that Liz Zurich was the first girl I was ever in love with. But now I’ll tell you that that is bullshit. It wasn’t love. It was a lie. The whole “relationship” was bullshit. As a friend or anything more she was the worst. I allowed myself to be led on by her for too long and I can honestly say I have never made a mistake like that ever again in my life. Of course there have been other high school bull shit girls which I don’t feel like boring you with but still now I can honestly say I’ve never loved another human being.
Have you ever dealt with some crazy people in your life?
HA funny you should ask that. A lot of people will say that I myself am pretty crazy. I won’t deny that I’m a little nuts at times but aren’t we all? But seriously the craziest person I ever met was this girl I met in the summer of 2000. Over the summer of 2000 I met this girl and we spoke on the phone a couple times and hung out and stuff. Nothing major. As the summer progressed we found that we had feelings for one another. So as that grew and developed we got closer. Then came August and it was time for her to go on a trip to Rome with her Church group. So she was gone for two weeks and then she came back. She called me up when she got back and was like “Yea I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” So I’m like OK. Fine. I wasn’t that crazy about her anyway. I did however find it a little odd that she would immediately come back from Rome and call it all off. Anyway…Weeks go by we talk online once and a while and then I go to college. So its my first week in the dorm and she ims me and she says to me, “You know I’m afraid of you.” and I’m like why? Shes like, “I think you’re going to murder me.” Turns out the girl was dead serious about me coming to murder her. She was fearing for her life. I was completely perplexed by all of this. I had no idea what to do. She kept talking to me and scaring the fuck out of me so I just blocked her. About 3 months later she IMs me under a different screen name and asks if we can talk so I’m like ok. So she calls me and proceeds to tell me the following things: 1. That the reason she dumped me when she got back from Rome was because she had her first lesbian experience while in Rome ON HER CHURCH TRIP! So she hadn’t been seeing men anymore she was seeing women. So ok she went gay on me. 2. The reason she thought I was going to murder her was because apparently she was a Schizophrenic and I really mean a Schizophrenic. So she was on this medication to keep her under control and apparently while in Rome she stopped taking it and didn’t tell anyone when she got home. So basically the night she told me that she thought I was going to murder her she ended up bugging out and had to be takin to the hospitol. She was bugging out so hardcore that they had to restrain her to the beds and stuff. And that is the craziest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.
You said earlier that you are fond of telling stories, what is your favorite story to tell?
Without a doubt it would have the be the Leeds Gin Dance Dance Revolution Story. For those of you not familiar with the story here it is. One night at my house when my parents were away *EDIT* brings over these two girls and we do some drinking. We had been drinking some Smirnoff Ice (which I hate) and then we hit the 1983 bottle of Leeds Gin and start mixing shit. One of the girls leaves so its me, *EDIT*, and this other girl. So we’re like DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION DRUNK! So we go down and we start playing. Then one of us gets the brilliant idea of playing strip DDR. So we start doin that sure enough I’m out first and I got upstairs to sleep. Next morning I hear *EDIT* and the girl leave my house and I get up because I had work at Funcoland. I go downstairs and I notice these red dots going up my stairs. I lick my finger and rub it in the spots and notice that it comes right out. So I go up the stairs with a wet paper towel and get all of these crazy spots off of my burber rug. Then I start to tidy up the basement and I come across *EDIT*’s t-shirt. Ok I think to myself next to it I find…a thong. It just so happens to have the same red spot on it that was all over my carpet. I don’t even want to know so I just clean everything up and all is well. So a few days go by and my parents come home and I get a call from them and they go, “Did you throw up in the bathroom?” I say, “No” Turns out the freaking girl threw up ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL over my downstairs bathroom and didn’t clean it up or tell anyone. From what I’m told it looked as bad as Lansing’s girlfriends vomit down at JMU. Don’t worry about how I took care of that with the parents but all was well. About 3 months afterwards I get an IM from a strange screen name. Turns out its the girl who threw up all over my bathroom. After conversing with her she told me that she lost her virginity that faithful night and so that those spots up the stairs was the remains of her…Yea thats right you know what it is. Thats my favorite story to tell just because of how bizzare it is and I don’t think I haven’t had a group of people laughing so hard as when I tell it.
Is it true you didn’t used to drink beer?
Yes believe it or not there was a time when I did not drink alcohol. Back in high school I had my reasons for not drinking but in college I forgot about them but it wasn’t easy. It was second semester freshmen year and 1985 said to me “Hey lets drink” and I’m like “No”. He said whats it gonna take for you to drink? So me being the genius that I am thinking it would never happen says this, “If I’m gonna drink I want us to drink Guinness while wearing scarfs and caps, while we dine on steaks, listen to irish drinking music, all while sitting on an Irish flag.” Sure enough that bastard pulled through on all of it. So me, Firehouse, and 1985 drank. I got drunk and so did they. We have the entire night on tape. I plan on drinking with my kids in the same fashion when they are ready and showing them all of the video tapes of me drunk at Rider. Hopefully by learning from my example they will not make the same mistakes I did, most noteably the big PINK mistake…
What does the future hold for Sean Piotrowski?
The future looks bright for Sean Piotrowski. I hope to one day rule the world and produce an army of offspring to carry on my legacy. I will institute a Piotrowski family tradition that will begin with my children that the first born son be named after me, Sean Robert Piotrowski. That way one day there will be a Sean Robert Piotrowski the 13th. I always wanted a number after my name but alas there was no Sean Robert Piotrowskis before me. Frank has a number at the end of his name and I envy him for that. BLAST YOU CONGILOSE! ::SHAKES FIST:: But I hope to have a house and shit soon. I want to be a bachelor in a house. I think that would be pretty bad ass so also when I meet chicks I can be like, “PSHT I allready gots a house bitch we don’t have to buy one.” I think a girl would find it to be pretty sexy if a guy had a house allready and it was decorated pretty manly but in a sexy manly way not like in a pussy Martha Stewart kind of way with pastels and shit. Thats straight up gay. I’m talking hard wood floors and leather, lots of marble, roaring fire place, and a bear skin rug. You know what I’m talking about. Also I will be rich. Because I will create my own networking consulting company or something and everyone knows consultants make coke dealer money. I’ll be the Tony Montana of the IT world. Driving around in my G35 or Hummer H1 while wearing cream colored suits just like the Columbian Drug Lord in Clear and Present Danger. I will also have a butler. He will be with me in my single years in the house and through the future. But the butler is clutch because I’ll need someone to cook and clean for me being that I won’t have a wife. (HAHAHA) Plus I’ll have someone to talk to and he’ll be British so it’ll be even cooler. I think he should also have a drinking problem. I think that would give him more character and create more fun times. But once his work is effected by the drinking it’d have to stop. My uncle went on a business trip to Britian and had to stay at this Lord’s house and he had his own butler and his name was Martin. The stories my uncle told me about his butler made me want one so bad. So without a doubt I’ll have a butler. So to recap: house when I’m single, butler, kids named Sean Robert Piotrowski with numbers after then for all of eternity, Tony Montana of IT, and hopefully a wife who will tolerate me and complete me.
You mention a wife. What to you is your ideal wife?
I’ll need a classy woman with large breasts and long hair. She will have to have an amazing personality and intellegence. She doesn’t have to be hot (Allthough if a hot woman falls in love with me I don’t think I’d have any choice but to fall in love with her also). Just cute. She will have to be able to make me laugh on her own. She will also have to own a school girl outfit, a black bra, and a long black dress. Thats all I can tell you now. The rest would be up to gut feelings and her blow job skills.
Any final words?
I’d like to thank you Sean for giving me a fabulous interview. I’d like to thank everyone for their support and well wishes. I only hope you tell others about me and let them know how much of a pleasure it is to visit www.SeanPiotrowski.net and how much of a pleasure it is for me to entertain all of you. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I have and I hope to keep seeing you return.
There you have it folks. The end of my two part interview with myself. If there was a question you would like to ask for a future edition please leave comments on the site. Tommrow I return with a hot and amazing post that will utterly blow you away involving one of my beloved friends.
Till next time…”I’ve been watching you, you can feel it too…”