Firehouse Interview

“Get the firehouse ‘Cause she sets my soul afire. Get the firehouse And the flames keep gettin’ higher…”

Here it is. Firehouse like you’ve never seen her before ALL RAW AND ALL NUDE! Wait wrong interview…Anyway here she is Stephanie Ullman!

Steph, Take a minute to introduce yourself.

my name is stephanie elise robert ullman, thought i am more commonly known by the name steph…which i must say i like better cuz my name is weird. but i digress, i was born in lakewood at kimball and have lived in various houses all over TR for my entire life aside from a short stint in holmdel for about 6 months where i repeatedly punched myself in the face and drove to toms river every day

Stephanie in high school the hatred that you and I had for one another ran deep. What was the turning point for you when you no longer called me enemy but friend?

i think it was getting to know you sean. you tend to have a very abrasive personality at times…and so do i – this was a deadly mixture until you and i got to know the kindness in one anothers hearts. i can vividly remember sitting at the lunch table sophomore year of high school with pete cappello, mike mignon, and greg coleman (odd combo)- making fun of you as you sat there. i apologize for this. once we graduated and moved on to college i think we both matured and we thrown into spending a lot of time together at rider and there, you and i were able to get past the obnoxiousness that we both possess at times and become good friends. this friendship has continued despite some incidents…such as the one where i made you cry for a comment you made to me. you and i have a love/hate relationship – sometimes we hate each other and sometimes we are the best of friends….i think we have become accustomed to this

You’ve had more cars then Craig since your younger years of 17. Of all of these which automobile was your favorite?

i have – and this is the plight of being an ullman…dave has had 3 identical gtis…but anyway – i think that the ti will always hold a special place in my heart since it was my first car. but my present black gti with red seats – is the car i have taken the most pride in since i think it is super sexy. also being that i spend a lot of time with tim, the great car conisseur…he kind of inspires me to notice things i never did before, such as the sound of the engine…which i have recently discovered the sexiness of…so i would say this one is my favorite.

Stephanie in high school you had a high profile relationship with a Mr. Chris Kordulak. You have since parted ways. My question is, if pitted in a wrestling match against the other high profile couples of our high school would you and Chris have won?

i think not. chris and i were friends that thought we were more – unlike other couples who were present at the time….i think they would have had an edge over us. despite my amazing wrestling skills.

thats what this question is about. Wrestling skills.

to me it would be more about working together – i dunno how chris’s wrestling skills are… me and chris had a fucked up relationship and honestly when i think about it its more like 3 years of a good friendship as opposed to anything more. i mean it def taught us both a lot about life. i dont know how we would have done against other couples…i can tell you about tims wrestling skills and him and i would kick everyones ass…and i bet you that chris and dara would kick ass as well, cuz you cant compare me and chris to the other people in high school, it was of a different breed. in our present relationships, however, i think we could kick ass

All I am asking you is would you have Kicked Bill Yannetti and Krisiti Fazio’s Ass or Nick Gargulo and Alyssa Raymondi’s ass in a wrestling match?

maybe nick and alyssa but bill yannetti is pretty stacked so i would say not them. although i prefer my philosophical answers that i provided you with earlier

Steph if you could have three wishes what would they be?

that is a very tough question….i would wish for eternal happiness and love for myself and everyone i care about
i would wish for the continuation of good music forever from the bands that i love so i never get pissed off at them
i would wish for the greatness of wendys and dunkin donuts to be combined into one location as has been done with pizza hut and kfc…so that i can get a nice lunch and snack all at once

Stephanie when you and I speak to one another on the phone or in person we talk like old british men. Any reason for this?

i think its because we enjoy being silly…and also because i do that all the time with various people. also – you and i tend to use a high level vocabulary. i dont really know why except its funny – so yeah

IF you and I produced offspring do you think they would abandon all forms of normal communication and only speak in this “high vocabulary british” style?

this is very possible

Brandon Hans, Prince of Darkness or Child of the night?

hmmm – child of the nighti would have to say – although i really have no idea

While you were Vice-President of the Senior class would you have impeached any of your fellow executive officers?

yes i would have to say i would have. there a was an obvious split in the unity that should have been the class officers – janice and i…and matt and jaime – junior year i think we all did a good job. senior year however, with the envokement of the celestine prophesy and other distractions…at times jaime and matt were not as involved as they should have been and a lot was left to janice and i – we were pissed off at times…it was annoying – though it all seemed to work out in the end and 3 years later all hard feelings are dissolved. janice and i spent many hours in mr maninos room planning events and one of the most exciting days was when we snuck into maninos back room and discovered his shrine to sarah michelle geller – right there in the middle of upper c wing

Who would you say are your biggest influences in your life?

my parents, fat mike for some of my favorite music, my boyfriend tim, my brother, craig savitsky and his hating of all people, sean and his wendys influence, my dear friends kate and kathleen, the makers of volcom, george washington, george washington carver, toni from love cruise/paradise hotel, don mattingly, john stamos, nigel withersmith, and mrs. t

If you could change one thing about you what would it be?

i dont think i would change anything – i am happy with myself as i am…maybe i would be a little more patient, other than that nope

Final question, Sean Piotrowski man or myth?

definately man – i dont think anyone would believe a myth that was told about you..

Stephanie I would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer these questions and I hope everyone enjoys getting to know you a bit better. Any final thoughts?

not really – but i thank you as well for taking time out of your busy schedule to ask me these insightful questions

I hope you guys enjoyed that. Cause if you didn’t I’m gonna kill you all. On a side note, the Stigmata have begun to appear on the palms of my hands. I have these red circles on the palms of my hands and they hurt like a bitch. Its just a matter of time before they start to bleed and people flock from Idaho to worship me…

I’m tired so thats it…

Till next time…”Bite it you scum…”