A Tribute to Mike The Bounty Hunter

“There was a time when this was the only bounty hunter I ever knew…”Today I was reminded of someone who I think I will never forget as long as I live, Mike The Bounty Hunter. Mike the Bounty Hunter was a man in his 30’s who would come and hang out at Funcoland. You see he was friends with Corey when he worked for Funco and thats how he started coming in. Then after Corey left he still came in because we had struck up a friendship during his visits to Corey. Mike was a memorable man and I will tell you why…

Mike was a recent PS2 owner. His wife had bought one for him for his birthday and he loved it. He was all about the new games and such and would come in once a week, sometimes more, and check out the new stuff. He’d stay for a few hours and we’d shoot the breeze because usually no one ever came in. Mike told me he was a bounty hunter. He would go across NJ state lines with his “team members” and they would track and hunt a criminal and bring them back to NJ to serve their warrant. Mike owned many guns and had used them many times. I think its even safe to say he probabily had killed a man…

Mike had a mullet which he kept in a pony tale that he would pull through the back hole of his adjustable hat. He never let anyone see it in its full mullet-y glory. I on the other hand was privledged once to actually see it. It was a site to behold and probabily the greatest mullet I’d ever seen…

Mike The Bounty Hunter was into many things. On top of being a bounty hunter he owned a transportation company. He also was into hunting and video games. Mike was also the man behind the Patrotic float I rode during the 2001 Toms River Halloween Parade in which I was Abe Lincoln. Mike also was a member of a Ghost hunting team. You see he would meet up with this group of people and every year they would go out for about 3 weeks and hunt ghosts. The team was made up of: One Super Rich Young Scientist, One Occult Expert, One Technology Expert, and Mike was the Weapons Expert. They used to go out in the middle of the woods in this crazy ass RV, that made the one in Stripes look tame, for like 3 weeks and they would go seek out these abandoned houses in the middle of the woods like 10 to 20 miles deep on a dirt road somewhere in the Pine Barrens. Mike of course would be armed with heavy artillary. They seriously sounded like the fucking S.T.A.R.S. Team from Resident Evil. It was fuckin rediculous. He invited me once but I declined because I could not take three weeks of school off nor would I want to be in the woods 20 miles away from an asphault road hunting the supernatural. He swore he had seen things that he said would change my perspective on life. He always said he had this video tape he wanted to show me from one of the “hunting” trips that he said would probabily give me nightmares for the rest of my life…

I’ll never forget the time Mike the Bounty Hunter went to get pizza down at the Pizza Plaza and he sprung into bounty hunting action. I saw him walking back with the Pizza and Soda in his hands then all of a sudden he dropped them and darted off into the street. Next thing I know he tackles this guy to the ground puts one of those plastic tie things around his hands to “cuff” him (which oddly enough he always had on him) and then he called the police from his cell phone. His wife never bitched again for him hanging down at Funco after that. You see she used to call the store looking for him all the time and we’d always have to lie for him and say he wasn’t there…

After Funcoland closed its doors for the last time on November 18, 2001 I never saw or heard from Mike the Bounty Hunter ever again. I did however see his wife down at the Silverton Car Wash. She told me that Mike had ran off with some 22 year old “hussie” and was never heard from again. If you ever saw Mike’s wife then I think you’d understand why he did. (Not that I’m condoning such a horrible thing) So today my friends I dedicate today’s post to the memory of Mike the Bounty Hunter. You were too much of a character to ever be forgotten…

Phase Two of Trenton Home Preparation is almost complete. Tonight we will be done with Phase Two and we’ll be ready for Phase Three, which Kay and I will tackle ourselves. Or maybe we’ll just tackle each other like we did inside of the Wawa…;-)

Well thats all for today…

Till next time…”The Day the Earth Caught Fire”