If I Ruled the World


One day this could all be true…People often ask me, “SeanPiotrowski, would you ever rule the world? Like right now, would you please rule the world and make our lives better?” and I have only but one response to that answer, “Why of course I would”.You see if I ran the world most of the people who read this website would live high upon the hill with me. I’d probably leave NJ alone except for Voorhees. I’d drop a nuclear bomb on Voorhees and most of Camden County, the rich snobby section that is. Of course I’d heli-lift my good friend’s the Rindos’ out of harms way before that was done. But then after that I’d blow the place to smithereenes and turn it into the world’s largest Paintball field. It’d kinda be like “Escape from NY” but with paintballs. We could have hunter and gather tribes defending various tracks of land. Seriously just think of Escape from LA or Escape from NY with paintball guns, “CALL ME SNAKE, NO WAIT CALL ME PLISKIN” I of course would make Kurt Russel the Love Muscle the Mayor of this wonderful land but only if he is Snake Pliskin 24/7…Toms River would most likely remain unscathed except for my sister’s generation of kids. They’re giving Toms River a bad name and I know that doesn’t sit well with me. So I’d transport them to Cuba and force them to suffer under the hardships of Fidel Castro for the rest of eternity. Then I’d air lift them back to Wyoming 25 years later for a massive fight to the death, the final 15 remaining individuals would be allowed entry back into Piotrowskiety. (Piotrowski + Society = Piotrowskiety, meaning Piotrowski run society) I think a common theme of Piotrowskiety would be fighting to the death. Much like the old Roman empire I would want large groups of people I did not like to fight to the death to possibly redeem themselves in my eyes. I think its only fair that I give them one last shot, don’t you think?

AS ruler of the world I’d leave a lot of the world alone to continue functioning on their own. Poland, Eastern Europe, Russia, Japan, Britian, Ireland, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, South America, Central America, and Italy would be allowed to continue their lives as normal. However Canada, the USA, Mexico, and the rest of the world would be my personal playground falling under stick SeanPiotrowski rule. I would turn France, Germany, the Middle East, most of Asia, and a lot of South East Asia into police states where Hammurabi’s code would be the only law and the ensuing chaos would be broadcast for the world to see on Television.

I would also capture George Lucas and force him to churn out QUALITY Star Wars films for all of eternity. Final approval on all films would lye in my hands and if I didn’t like the film I would cut off one of his fingers or toes or something…

I would assume control of Washington D.C. forcing all residents to leave making it my own personal palace. Many of the historic buildings would be my own and I would have my staff occupy them, much like the current government, so that my bidding is done.

I would also be a real dick of a leader too. I’d only be kind to those who I personally cared for and I would crush all those who pissed me off.

Consider that my psychotic rant for the year…

Till next time…”Billie Jean is not my lover…”