Totally Shit in the Dark


So true story from today. I went to lunch with my boss today, we went to Wendy’s. Fast-Forward to around 4:45 PM. 15 minutes left in the work day and I’m sitting at the help desk bored out of my gord. When all of a sudden I get the feeling that says, “Oh man, I gotta take a major shit.” I tell myself I’ll just wait 15 min and go back in the office when I leave the Help Desk. 5 minutes go by and I realize, “Yeah I’m not gonna make it back to the office.” Its 4:50 PM now, I get up and walk to the bathroom making sure to walk by the Library Staff so they see that I’m going to the bathroom so they don’t lock me in there when they close in 10 minutes. I walk by, make eye contact with them, they see me, and I walk into the bathroom. At this point I pop a squat and get ready to drop some heat. As I am doing so I take out my Treo and start playing some solitare but not before I check the time, 4:52 PM. I have 8 minutes, plenty of duce dropping time. 4:57 PM rolls around and I’m ready to pack it in. I start to begin my “exit routine” when all of a sudden…CLICK…lights are out in the bathroom, I’m talking PITCH BLACK. I think Vin Diesel was even in there with me. Anyway I yell, “HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” no one heard me. So I finish my business in pitch blackness, start cleaning up, and use the light of my cell phone to find my way out of the bathroom. I get out into the lobby of the library to see the entire library staff about to leave and I yell, “THANKS A LOT FOR LEAVING ME IN THE BATHROOM IN THE DARK!” They all laughed. I told them I would remember this day and would get them back…


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Till next time… “Total Eclipse of the Hearttttttttt…”

7 thoughts on “Totally Shit in the Dark

  1. Pitch Black is the only Mark Vincent(I refuse to call him Vin Diesel anymore) movie that I enjoyed.
    At least you had your treo with you, I’ve had times here at the office trying to wipe in total darkness thanks to some idiot that turned the lights out on me. Its a guessing game at that point, very hard to tell if multiple wipes are required.

  2. i only pee in the dark. i like to look at my poop. peeing in the dark is funny b/c no one will really notice, untill it smells like piss.

  3. droppin heat in the 06′ bitch. what what new joint new joint.

    dude at least you didn’t crap yourself while running down your dorm hall way trying to get to yor bathroom.

    um, not that i did, but, ya know.

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