An Open Letter to My Ear Tubes

This is an Ear drum having a tube placed in it.

Dear Tubes,
We have been together for over two years. You and I were only supposed to be together for a year but our love affair grew into a very serious relationship. Everyone said it wouldn’t work and that you’d be gone in 6 to 9 months. You sure showed them buy staying that full year you were designed to stay. After that first year the doubters said you’d be gone in a matter of no time and again you showed them by staying another whole year. However tubes I think its time we went our separate ways. I just don’t think I am really up for the challenge anymore. I’m tired of having to wear ear protection in the shower, I’m tired of all the gross crap that comes out of my ears sometimes, and more importantly I am tired of the pain you cause me. Tonight as I sit here writing you this letter I am in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced during relationship. Why must you cause me so much pain and anguish? Don’t you realize that we’ve been together long enough and that its time for us to go on about our lives? I know you have helped me get through some really bad allergy seasons by just allowing the mucus to drain out of my ears and I know you’ve helped my Eustachian tube open up after being fused shut but Its time for you to fall out and begin to decompose by the magic powers of my ear wax. Its just going to have to be this way, I’m sorry.


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